Failing to Protect

I was desperate for community, lonely and isolated while my husband was deployed, and had met few people while attending Sunday services at Church on a Hill. Hoping to get more plugged in, I emailed the appointed contact person about joining a small group. However, she let me know that the small groups were full, and none of the 13 groups could accommodate me. So, I waited.

One Sunday morning, the associate pastor approached me and my kids during the meet-and-greet time of the service. Having seen us there for several weeks, he introduced himself and welcomed us warmly. He asked how we were enjoying the church, and I shared that I’d love to get more connected. He had a great idea: Join a small group! I told him I had tried but that they were full. He considered this for a moment, realizing that this was probably true. The pastoral staff and elders had overseen the development of small groups and set a strict limit on the number of people in each group to protect intimacy. But he had a solution. “Would you be willing to lead a small group?” I was taken aback. I’m pretty sure I stammered. I had been visiting on Sunday mornings for about two months. But this was my first conversation with a church leader.

Almost no one in this church knew my name. They didn’t know if I was a mature Christian, a brand new believer, or if I worshipped cats and just liked to come here once a week to see people praise the God who made kittens. He had no idea what kind of crazy theology I might bring into a small group! Yet, at that moment, he was ready to put me in charge of other flock members because it solved a logistical problem.

This conversation made me question whether I even wanted to be in a small group at this church. Who’s leading it? What are their feelings on cats? Did anyone even check?

Failing to Equip

However, a swing in the other direction keeps Church members out of the local church. Surprisingly, these opposing problems can exist within the same church. At Church on a Hill, that was the case. While its leadership diligently protected small group intimacy, it overlooked the importance of bringing new believers into the community. This overprotection kept new people from being known.

I needed a place to be the church to other believers. I couldn't be the church in isolation. Kept out of a small group, I was only attending church, unable to function as a part of the body in community. At Church on a Hill, I was not being the church because I had no one to be the church to.

When a church lacks a clear discipleship path, many people show up every Sunday but never become active members. They are never given a place to bless others with their spiritual gifts to build up the church. They are never known well enough to become trusted leaders. The church becomes stagnant, unable to grow.

A Thriving Church

The church bodies where we have experienced significant spiritual growth have had elders who understand their role well. Pastors and elders in these churches have shepherded the flock, encouraging us to use our spiritual gifts to build up God's Church. They have also protected the flock from false teachers by ensuring that each member is known deeply by others through relational discipleship groups. A healthy church balances two responsibilities: guarding against false teaching and equipping the saints for ministry. When leadership fails to uphold either, churches either become spiritually dangerous or relationally void. The pendulum can swing too far in either direction, resulting in a damaged body.

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will recognize them by their fruits.” Matthew 7:15-16a

In a thriving church, shepherds must protect the flock from false teachers by fostering true discipleship, in which the Church can recognize the identifying fruit of the Christian life. Without this process, churches become either unsafe or inaccessible. In several healthy churches, my family and I have been invited into community, known deeply, and then been invited to serve the greater congregation in leadership roles as the fruit of the Spirit in us was revealed to others. This intentional discipleship path makes all the difference in equipping the body for ministry while protecting against false teaching.

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