Highway Church

We stood in line at the children's ministry check-in for almost 15 minutes. The families around us knew each other and talked and laughed while their young children ran around their legs. Steve and I stood quietly in line, our family alone in a crowd. We were first-time visitors to a massive church off the highway a few miles from our new home.

When we reached the front, we told the frazzled and overwhelmed check-in lady that our infant and two preschoolers were new. She handed us three clipboards, each loaded with more forms than the doctor’s office requires, and we began filling them out for each of our three young children. Steve took one, I took another, and we raced to see who would do the third. People continued checking in around us. We handed the paperwork over, and the lady input the information into her laptop and printed stickers for us. One sticker went on each child’s back, and we received a pick-up tag for each child, like at the dry cleaners.

She then opened the half-door that led to the hallway behind her, filled with classroom doors, and someone took each of our children to different rooms. Steve and I went to the service, dry cleaning pick-up tags in hand. When the service ended, we returned with our tags to the long line of parents and handed them to the still-overwhelmed lady. She yelled names and a series of numbers over her shoulder, at which point, I assume, someone lifted our children off a spinning rack of hooks in the back, unwrapped them, and delivered them to us.

As volunteers shuffled our sweet toddler, RHB5747, up and down the hallway, we felt her image-bearing humanity was overlooked. She had become a part of a well-oiled machine. While this large, program-centered church’s children’s wing featured a giant playscape and a fun, kid-centered environment, its focus was lacking. I wondered if anyone called them by name at any point in the morning or if they were just RHB5746, RHB5747, and RHB5748. I asked my daughter, RHB5747, what she learned in class. The muddled answer left me wondering until this day. I’ll never know what Bible story she heard that morning.

Cardinal Direction Church

The following week, we intentionally sought out a smaller church congregation so that when we dropped off the kids (still with stickers, pick-up vouchers, and strong security measures in place), we felt they could be known. Within a few weeks, the check-in volunteer said, “Hi Gabby! Did you pick out your own clothes this morning?” and smiled knowingly at me as she watched my daughter enter the classroom wearing striped leg-warmers over her paisley leggings with a floral shirt.

The same volunteer handed me a printout at the end of class with a summary of the Scripture passage Gabby had heard that morning, the main points of their lesson, and the verse her class was memorizing. The information gave us something to build on throughout the week. And we needed it.

Four-year-old Gabby was convinced that the words to her favorite children's ministry song included the lines,

“He gave sight to the might

with just two fish!

So I believe Jesus can do anything!”

While my toddler was not yet a theologian, we had the resources to reinforce the biblical truth she had heard in church throughout the week. As parents, our role was to lead her in following Jesus and bring her up to know the gospel. Our church supported and encouraged us in this pursuit.

The Goal of Children’s Ministry

For the last several decades, children who have grown up in the American protestant church have dropped out at a high rate. Lifeway research found that among childhood church attendees, only 38% continue to attend church as adults. The system of discipling children we’ve had in place over the last 20 years is proving ineffective in raising young believers who remain in the church and continue to grow into mature disciples.

A child’s parents have far greater influence on their minds and hearts than a Sunday school teacher. Commands on how to raise children are given to parents throughout Scripture, not to the church. Therefore, to disciple children, the church must prioritize discipling parents.

While a playscape and expensive curriculum are nice, a discipleship-focused children’s ministry only needs to provide two simple services:

• A safe place for children while parents are being discipled

• Support and encouragement for parents to disciple their children

Handouts, emails, or personal chats with the parents should always include a way for parents to engage their children in gospel-centered teaching at home. A well-focused children’s ministry should provide parents with resources and encouragement to disciple their children effectively from Monday through Saturday. Equipping parents is the main point.

Children’s ministry doesn’t need to be complicated or flashy. Its purpose is to serve God’s church by building up families and equipping parents as the primary disciple-makers in their homes.

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