Permanent change of station (PCS) is a deceptive military term. There is nothing permanent about it. When my husband receives PCS orders, it sounds both terrifying and thrilling every time. It means we’re moving our family to a new base.

Every time we move, we find a new church home. Before we arrive, we research online to find churches with doctrine that aligns with Scripture. With a short list in hand, we begin visiting. On that first Sunday, we get in the car after church, and my husband asks, “Well, what did you think?” and then we decide whether we want to return next week or move on to the next church on the list.

Five reasons we’re coming back after visiting your church on Sunday:

Personal Connection. We arrived inside the sanctuary and found a seat. Before the service began, a couple sitting near us, or a person who spotted us from three aisles over, approached and said with a smile, “I haven't met you yet!” We explained that it was our first Sunday, and she lit up. She was so glad to have us. She wanted to know what had brought us to this church, how long we had lived in town, why we had moved here, how we liked the area, how old our kids were, and where we were from. Once she extracted enough information from us, she found a connecting piece. “You’re from Texas? Oh! You need to meet Christine and James. They’re from Texas! You’re in the military? You need to meet Trevor and Jenn; he’s retired military! Your kids are in high school? You need to meet Mindy, her kids go to the same school!”

Immediately, she tracked down the person we needed to meet. She made an introduction, and we started a conversation with this new person. She and the new person both asked at different times, “Have you heard about our small groups, discipleship groups, or Sunday School class?” You need to come! Let me get you the printout about them. Better yet, I can text you the info. Will you be here on Wednesday? We’d love to have you. I’ll be looking for you!”

This same process started over after church with another slew of people. By the time we left, we had been invited into community by eight different people.

Family not Friends. Everyone we met in these personal connections knew everyone else well. They didn’t just know their names and professions. They knew where they lived, the names of their pets, that their daughter was home sick, and why they weren’t there last week. I heard snippets of conversation between these people that demonstrated brotherly love. They knew each other’s struggles and were praying for, encouraging, and edifying one another with Scripture. They were united in love. While I did not understand the details of the conversations around me, I knew that if we stayed, I would. I would know these people deeply, and they would know me. They would become my family, and I would be theirs.

A discipleship path. We were invited into this community with joy. And the invitation was clear. Our next step after visiting on Sunday morning was to join The Group. It may be a series of study groups that meet at the church on Wednesday nights. It could be home groups. It could be small groups that meet in coffee shops around the city. We’ve been members of connection groups, care groups, life groups, growth groups, family groups, grace groups, DNA (discipleship, nurturing, and accountability) groups, and more.

Whichever format this church used, it was as clear as a big flashing arrow: This way to discipleship! Join this group to build up the church! Here, we will study scripture together, pray for one another, serve each other with our gifts and resources, build each other up, and welcome new people. We will grow in maturity together, sharpening each other. Come join us as we pursue the Christian life together!

Leading Leaders. As we met people, made plans to join The Group, and were encouraged to return, the invitations did not come from staff members. The staff were busy preparing for the service, praying with people who had a need, counseling a hurting member of their flock, or many other necessary tasks. In many good churches, weeks can go by in which we're deeply plugged into the life of the church before a staff pastor reaches out and wishes to meet with us to see how we’re settling in. On this first Sunday, I know the leaders of this church are leading well by the fact that the congregation has been equipped, encouraged, and motivated to welcome my family. They are being the church to me. This church does not leave the mission of discipleship to the paid staff. The fact that I’m not greeted by a pastor but by church members instead means the pastors are leading well. They are shepherding this flock and equipping them for ministry.

Intentional Service. The worship songs were doctrinally sound and refrained from inane repetition. The call to worship and other liturgy was purposeful, setting our minds on the glory of God and the grace in which we come before Him. The announcements shared upcoming church functions that serve the purpose of discipleship, not busyness. The message was based on scripture and taught with clarity. All things were done for building up. There was nothing confusing about the service. There was no insider jargon without context. The goal of the service was clear: to bring Christians before the throne of our Savior in worship, to bring the Word of God to His people, and to celebrate the unity of the Holy Spirit among the saints. It was uncomplicated and focused.

When we walk out of church services like this one, that conversation in the car is easy. We decided quickly and with absolute clarity that we should return next week, check out The Group, and visit the restaurant one of the members had recommended. Churches that have most encouraged us, spiritually transformed us, and in which we have seen God’s plan for His church unfolding most beautifully, have welcomed us well.

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